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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?